The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous has a passage that states, “Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.” This is as true for sex, porn, and love addicts as it is for alcoholics. One of our biggest triggers toward sexual/romantic acting out is wanting and trying to control a situation that is not ours to control. As the AA Big Book says, “When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation, some ‘fact of my life,’ unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.” So, if we want to establish and maintain lasting sobriety, we need to learn to accept people, places, and things exactly as they are.
Just for Today
Stay in your own hula hoop. If it’s not in your hula hoop, don’t try to control it. Notice how your stress level decreases when you do this.