When is the last time someone gave you the peace of their heart rather than a piece of their mind?
Having a knowledgeable and empathetic support network is a key to long-term recovery. But healthy friendships are not something sex and porn addicts are typically good at. This leaves many of us asking, “How do I know who to invite into my inner circle?” Happily, there are some easily identifiable qualities. Safe friends are people who:
- Respect and maintain our and their boundaries.
- Do not gossip or share information they have been entrusted with.
- Understand that we are in a process of healing and recovery and are willing to be in that process with us.
- Do not collude with us in pretending that things are perfectly OK when they’re not.
- Do not stoke our fear by telling us horror stories that cause us to imagine worst-case scenarios.
- Have wisdom to share and offer sound, useful advice when we ask for it.
- Are available and willing when we need support.
If we can find even one or two people who are able and willing to support us in these ways, we’ve got the beginnings of a terrific support network.
Task for Today
Make a list of people you might want in your support network, looking for qualities that appear in the preceding list.