For some sex and porn addicts, masturbation is the only sex they ever have with a person they care about.
Comedienne Lily Tomlin famously said, “We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.” And she may be right. That said, for many people there is more to masturbation than just self-pleasure. For some recovering sex and porn addicts, masturbation can be a healthy, outer circle/boundary activity, helping them create healthy, non-compulsive sexual and romantic attachments. For instance, being held while masturbating can be a deeply intimate act that helps to build connection. That said, plenty of sex and porn addicts tend to struggle with compulsive masturbation, and generally it should be placed in either the inner or middle circle/boundary. When there is confusion about masturbation, it is best to err on the side of caution.
Task for Today
Think about whether masturbation could be a healthy part of your recovery, and, if so, how that might happen.