I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.
For long-term success in recovery, we must want change for ourselves, rather than to mollify others or get out of trouble. Without an internal sense of ‘I am doing this because I no longer wish to live this way,’ lasting behavior change is unlikely. Trying to save a relationship, keep a job, and stay out of jail are all great reasons to seek help, but the pain of a short-term crisis inevitably lessens over time, while the desire to act out typically does not. In other words, an in-the-moment crisis is useful motivation for entering treatment and recovery, but it is not enough to keep us sexually sober over time. Those of us who develop lasting recovery are generally motivated to do so because we realize how empty and unfulfilling our lives have become, and we decide that we want to live differently. If we appease others in the process, that’s great, but that’s not what keeps us in recovery.
Task for Today
Think about why you want to recover. Are your motivations internal, external, or both?