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Porn Addiction and Withdrawal

Dr. Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT

It is common knowledge that alcoholics and drug addicts, when they suddenly go cold turkey, sometimes experience withdrawal—delirium tremens, chills, fever, insomnia, night sweats, headaches, nausea, diarrhea, tachycardia (elevated heart rate), hypertension, depression, agitation, anxiety, hallucinations, irritability, and the like. Withdrawal from some substances is worse than withdrawal from others. Opiate addiction (including addiction to heroin) and alcoholism tend to produce the worst physical symptoms. Sometimes these symptoms can be life-threatening if not medically managed.

Typically, substance addicts dealing with severe physical withdrawal symptoms are titrated off their drug of choice, meaning they are given a medication that manages their withdrawal by temporarily replacing their addictive drug of choice, and then they are slowly but steadily weaned off that medication. Usually, this process takes anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. For instance, chronic alcoholics often receive a steadily decreasing dose of Librium for the first week or two of treatment, and opiate addicts often receive decreasing doses of a “lesser” opiate, like Buprenorphine (also called Suboxone).

But what about porn addiction? Do addicted porn users get the DTs and hallucinate the same as alcoholics and heroin addicts? Typically, they do not. This does not, however, mean that a sudden stoppage of addictive sexual fantasy and porn usage does not produce withdrawal. In fact, it nearly always does to some degree, typically manifesting in one or more of the following ways:

  • Irritability, anxiety, agitation, depression, etc.: Most porn addicts experience extreme emotional discomfort in early sobriety. And why would they not? After all, pornography has been their primary way of coping with any and all discomfort, including feelings as seemingly benign as boredom, for months, years, or even decades. When the addiction is taken away, they no longer have this easy means of numbing and escaping. And without that, they must face their emotions head-on, which can be an incredibly uncomfortable experience.
  • Switching: Many porn addicts, when they are new to recovery and healing, find themselves replacing (or wanting to replace) their use of pornography with some other compulsive or addictive activity. Without pornography as a coping mechanism, they may turn to drinking, drugging, smoking, eating, gambling, spending, or any other pleasurable (and therefore escapist) activity.
  • Loneliness and longing for connection: For most porn addicts, pornography masks not only day-to-day stress and emotional discomfort but underlying issues related to a longing for true emotional intimacy. Without the constant distraction of sexual fantasy and imagery, this longer-term condition may rise to the surface and cause intense feelings of loneliness, fear, isolation, and unhappiness.

In early porn addiction recovery, even the smallest annoyance can feel like a major issue. Without their go-to coping mechanism, addicts tend to overreact and blow up. They get angry with themselves and others, they cry, they’re afraid, etc. As such, they are not always fun to be around. This is primary evidence of their (mostly emotional rather than physical) addiction withdrawal.

That said, some newly sober porn addicts experience the opposite of withdrawal. This is known as the honeymoon or the pink cloud. These lucky individuals find that when they embark on the path of healing, they suddenly lose all desire to use pornography. They are fascinated by the insight they are developing and thrilled to have finally found a solution to their deepest problem.

This temporary phase of early recovery is great while it lasts. However, addicts who are riding the pink cloud should be aware that their desire to use porn will return, and it may be stronger than ever when it does. If this eventuality is not anticipated and prepared for, it is easy to either relapse or to think that something has gone wrong in the recovery process. In reality, there is no need for relapse, and nothing is amiss with recovery. Instead, this is a normal part of the healing process, and the addict is simply experiencing a delayed form of withdrawal.

Any porn addict who experiences symptoms of withdrawal should talk about those feelings with a supportive person who is knowledgeable about the porn addiction cycle. Most often, this person will be a therapist, a 12-step sponsor, or a friend in recovery. Close friends who are not in recovery and family members can also be helpful. If symptoms of withdrawal are extreme (especially depression, dissociation, and anxiety), a therapist should be consulted as soon as possible. Severe, unchecked withdrawal symptoms can lead not only to continued porn use but other forms of serious self-harm.

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