Denial is the worst kind of lie because it’s a lie you tell yourself.
In Alcoholics Anonymous, they say that nothing is worse than a belly full of booze and a head full of recovery. This is also true with sex and porn addiction. Once we know that we have a problem with sex or porn addiction, compulsive sexual behaviors lose their appeal. As soon as our denial begins to crack, our addictive behaviors can never again occur without at least a tiny understanding that ‘this is a very bad idea and I really need to stop.’ Eventually, of course, we must fully commit to either recovery or the ever-deepening downward spiral of addiction. Those of us who opt for the former nearly always find that our lives and relationships steadily get better. Those who opt for the latter tend to experience a continuing series of negative life consequences. If those individuals are lucky, they will eventually return to recovery with a true commitment to change.
Task for Today
Think about the ways in which your denial has cracked since you started recovery. Can you still lie to yourself in ways that make your addiction seem OK?