“It was a mistake,” you said. But the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting you.
Many sex and porn addicts believe that full-on penetration is required before an activity qualifies as sex and, in turn, as infidelity. We say things like, “If there is no penetration, it’s not sex, and if it’s not sex, it’s not cheating.” Regardless of our thoughts on the matter, we know in our hearts that our loving partner sees things differently. As far as our significant other is concerned, hand-jobs, oral sex (both giving and receiving), heavy petting, making out, and even just flirting can and do qualify as sexual/romantic activity and cheating. We need to ask ourselves: “If my significant other could watch all of my behavior, are there parts that he or she would object to?” If the answer to this question is yes, then what we are doing almost certainly qualifies as infidelity, even if we’d like to think it doesn’t.
Task for Today
Debunk at least one lie you told yourself to justify your addictive behavior.