The first step in forgiveness is the willingness to forgive.
For many recovering sex and porn addicts the second half of Step 8—becoming willing to make amends—is incredibly difficult. And when we think about it, this is perfectly natural. After all, most of the people who show up on our amends list have, at some point, behaved badly toward us, making it very easy for us to seize upon their wrongdoings as a way to excuse our own poor behavior. If we find ourselves doing that, we needn’t beat ourselves up over it. Instead, we can simply recognize our feelings and remind ourselves that Step 8 is not about them, it’s about us. We are working the 12 steps for our recovery, not theirs.
Task for Today
Ask yourself if you are making changes in life to further your recovery or to get on the ‘good side’ of others.