The Challenge of Self-Defeating Behaviors

Why do we resist pursuit of the very things we say we want?

When other people procrastinate on important tasks, avoid pursuing goals they repeatedly say they want, or slip back into addictive behaviors after a period of sobriety, it’s easy for us to see how their good intentions and commitments unravel. But how aware and attuned are we to self-defeating habits in our own lives? It’s not an easy task to figure out why we profess to value something so strongly but when confronted with acting on that value we suddenly resist, ignore, or distract ourselves. However, the process of truly understanding our motivations (and the roadblocks we face) can lead to greater growth and healing. Because we often have blind spots in our self-examinations, we may want to seek feedback, guidance, and suggestions from others who support us in our recovery (therapists, loved ones, sponsors) as we seek to address our own self-defeating paradoxes.

Just for Today
Ask a friend in recovery if he/she notices any self-defeating patterns in your recovery. Listen respectfully and see if new ideas emerge.