The Pain That Drives Our Disorder

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All daily inspirations can be found in the book Sex and Porn Addiction Healing and Recovery. Used here with permission of the author.

It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where we stumble, there lies our treasure.

Addictions form primarily because early-life traumas have poisoned the well of interpersonal attachment. As Gabor Maté writes in his book, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, “A hurt is at the center of all addictive behaviors.” Basically, thanks to unresolved early-life trauma, we learn to associate fear rather than comfort with human intimacy and attachment. Thus, we refuse to turn to others, even loved ones, for help when we’re struggling or feeling down. Instead, we compulsively and obsessively self-soothe by numbing out with an addictive substance or behavior.

Task for Today
Tell a loved one about an unresolved wound from your childhood. Accept the love, support, and empathy that person gives you in return.