Understanding the “Anticipatory High”

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Emotional distraction and escape are the sex addict’s primary goal.

The high of sex addiction comes from the emotional distraction and escape provided by sexual fantasy and anticipation, not from actual sex. For an analogy, consider a cocaine addict on payday. After receiving his check, he dashes off to his dealer’s house to buy drugs with money that he needs for food, rent, childcare, and the like. As he approaches the dealer’s house, his heart races, he’s sweating, and he is so obsessed and preoccupied with using that he doesn’t even notice the police car parked a block away. He has escaped from his life, his decision-making is distorted, and he has lost touch with reality. He is high already, even though there are no actual drugs in his system. Well, this is the exact same high that sex addicts experience.

Just for Today: Pay attention to your desire to escape into sexual fantasy and behaviors.