Prodependence vs. Codependence
If you’re the loved one of an addict, especially if that individual is sex, porn, or substance-addicted, you’ve probably had someone suggest that you read up on codependency and that you start attending Codependents Anonymous meetings.
You will not hear those suggestions from us. We are not fans of the codependency model. We feel that it is blaming and shaming toward you, holding you responsible for what happened when your only sin is loving a person who made some mistakes or is suffering from an addiction. Codependency would tell you to detach, to leave the addict, to let the addict sink or swim on his or her own. Codependency would tell you that you love too much, and it’s hurting both you and the addict.
We think that’s a load of you-know-what. We think it’s not possible to love too much. We think it’s crazy to suggest to you that you walk away from a loved one when he or she is struggling and finally trying to do something about it.
But what’s the alternative, you ask? Well, we have an answer, courtesy of our Chief Clinical Officer Dr. Robert Weiss, and that answer is prodependence.
What Is Prodependence?
Prodependence is a new concept in addiction healthcare, intended to improve how therapists treat loved ones of addicts and other troubled people. With its attachment-positive focus, prodependence pushes aside the flaws of codependency, which generally leave loved ones of addicts feeling confused and misunderstood rather than supported and validated. Prodependence chooses to celebrate and value a loved one’s desire to stay connected no matter what, while providing that person with a skillset to do so in the healthiest possible way.
Ground Yourself in Prodependency
To learn more about prodependence, we suggest you pick up a copy of Dr. Rob’s book, Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, and that you attend at least a few of our free online webinars and discussion groups on prodependence.
- Prodependence, a Discussion Group for Betrayed Partners, hosted by Angela Spearman, every Sunday at 6 p.m. Pacific
- Sex, Love, and Addiction, hosted by Dr. Robert Weiss, every Monday at 5 p.m. Pacific
- Partners Old Lady Posse, hosted by Susan Anderson, every Tuesday at 8:30 a.m. Pacific
- Rocking Relationships in Recovery, hosted by Jon Taylor, 2ndand 4th Tuesday of each month at 10 a.m. Pacific
- Men’s Prodependence: For Male Partners of Addicts, hosted by Jon Bentley every Tuesday at 7 p.m. Pacific.
- Rebuilding Healthy Relationships, hosted by Kristin Minto Snowden, 2ndWednesday of each month at 9:30 a.m. Pacific
- Getting to the Other Side: Helping Couples Navigate Recovery, hosted by Eddie Capparucci, 3rd Wednesday of each month at 9:30 a.m. Pacific.
- Prodependence, A Group for Partners, hosted by Debbie Allen and Suzie LeBrocq, every Wednesday at 12:30 p.m. Pacific
- Addiction and Recovery, hosted by Dr. David Fawcett, every Wednesday at 5 p.m. Pacific
- Prodependence Webinar, hosted by Kim Buck, 1stand 3rd Friday of each month at 2:30 p.m. Pacific
- Prodependence for Couples, hosted by Matt Wheeler, 2ndand 4th Friday of each month at 2:30 p.m. Pacific