It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.
As recovering sex and porn addicts, we often wonder why our partner is so angry and so unable to just ‘get over it’ after we stop with the cheating and lying. We want to know why he or she seems so angry that the good things we’re doing for our recovery, our relationship, and our lives seem to go unnoticed and unappreciated. In such cases, we need to understand that because we lied and kept important secrets (including secrets about sex) from our partner, and we did that for a very long time, he or she is not going to immediately trust us the way that he or she once did. For our partner, all of the good things we’ve done and are currently doing pale in comparison to our violation of relationship trust. Our partners, when they find out we’ve cheated, lied, and kept important secrets, are not going to get over that until we rebuild trust – and rebuilding relationship trust is an arduous process that typically takes a year or more.
Task for Today
Be patient with your partner, understanding that he or she is struggling to trust you because you betrayed the relationship.