It is apparent that Dr. Rob comes from a place of compassion, as do his guests. Dr. Rob, your work has helped a loving relationship heal from needless suffering-thank you!
5/13/20
Your weekly webinars have been a great part of my recovery process. I want to share how much I appreciate them.
I just wanted to thank you for your youtube videos on sexual addiction. You’ve helped me on a path to recovery. Your the first person I’ve ever spoken to about my addiction.
I am really grateful for this group and for you and providing a place for people to come to.
As a wife married to a porn addict in denial, I have watched a lot of videos and read a lot of articles on porn and sex addiction, narcissism, and betrayal trauma. I’m in a very toxic and emotionally abusive relationship which eroded my self confidence, and self identity. One day I found Rob Weiss talking about betrayal trauma on YouTube. He talked about his new site “Sex and Relationship Healing” for betrayed spouses along with sex addicts and he changed my life.
I was very surprised to find so much help for partners of addicts, as well as addicts. I love the interactive webinars. They are so informative and I have learned so much. Being able to ask questions anonymously to experts is wonderful, and have been able to get validation when I had been gaslighted into believing I’m a bad person for being angry. The drop in groups are so fantastic because I can meet and talk to people who have gone through the same things I have. The validation is different than the webinars because it validates I am not alone, that I’m not broken, and I’m having normal responses. I don’t feel judged, no matter what I say. I love that they have webinars and drop in groups throughout the week with different themes, and the webinar and drop in group page tells you exactly what group is for who. I also enjoy listening to the podcasts. There are so many podcasts on different topics, and they are separated by addicts, couples, partners, and even LGBTQ. There are blogs as well. You can even write to them and get help. They will recommend therapy in your area to fit your needs. All of this is free, which is so amazing! I cannot express my gratitude enough. I am so much healthier mentally and stronger emotionally. Whether or not my husband decides to get into treatment is no longer a big concern of mine. I have found help for me, and that is huge.
Because of my husband’s porn addiction and addictive (narcissistic and passive aggressive) behavior toward me, he eroded much of my confidence and self image. I felt invisible, not good enough and that I couldn’t compete. The more I tried to get emotionally close to him, the more he would push me away. My husband is in denial of his addiction, and doesn’t see how his behavior is damaging emotionally and psychologically. Due to his lying, hiding, manipulation, stonewalling, ect. I had to put a boundary telling him he can have me or the porn, and even though he chose me, his behavior hasn’t changed significantly. He was angry and resentful because of it. I was in a desperate place in my life and my marriage had become very toxic and emotionally abusive. We tried marriage counselling in the past, but our counselor was unfamiliar with porn addiction along with the addictive behaviors associated. During counselling, my husband did stop ignoring me, however, the majority of our issues remained, and some aspects became more toxic.
While I tried individual therapists, they were unfamiliar with porn addiction, and the trauma I was going through. Some even re-traumatized me, so I turned to Google and YouTube. I learned as much as I could on the addiction, narcissism, betrayal trauma, and complex trauma, and self help. I started to understand his behavior and the connection between narcissism and porn addiction. I learned about betrayal trauma and my responses to his behavior.
Then one day I found Rob Weiss on YouTube talking about what partners go through with sex addicts, and what he said completely resonated with me, and I felt validated. He completely changed my life. I searched for more videos and on one he talked about starting free interactive webinars and informative videos on his new website “Sex and Relationship Healing.” I was very surprised to find so much help for partners of addicts, as well as addicts. I love the interactive webinars. They are so informative and I have learned so much. Being able to ask questions anonymously to experts is wonderful, and have been able to get validation when I had been gaslighted into believing I’m a bad person for being angry. The drop in groups are so fantastic because I can meet and talk to people who have gone through the same things I have. The validation is different than the webinars because it validates I am not alone, that I’m not broken, and I’m having normal responses. I don’t feel judged, no matter what I say. I love that they have webinars and drop in groups throughout the week with different themes, and the webinar and drop in group page tells you exactly what group is for who. I also enjoy listening to the podcasts. There are so many podcasts on different topics, and they are separated by addicts, couples, partners, and even LGBTQ. There are blogs as well. You can even write to them and get help. They will recommend therapy in your area to fit your needs. All of this is free, which is so amazing! I cannot express my gratitude enough. I am so much healthier mentally and stronger emotionally. Whether or not my husband decides to get into treatment is no longer a big concern of mine. I have found help for me, and that is huge.
Thank you for your reply and all the info, Tami. I’ve watched some of the Q&A podcasts that you and Dr. Rob have done together and they were extremely helpful for me. I plan to take advantage of the many other resources you offer, including some of the webinars, and to get Rob’s Prodependence book.
A huge thank you to you and Dr. Rob for all you do to support not only sex addicts, but also their partners.
Seeking Integrity has been an integral part of my recovery journey. Finding Dr Rob’s podcast was a gift in the abyss of betrayal trauma and I have religiously looked forward to them dropping every week. They have helped me not feel alone, helped me develop a much better understanding of sex addiction and also helped me feel validated for the myriad of emotions I have felt on this journey. I absolutely love the guests he has on his show and the conversations he directs. The webinars are also an incredible and free resource. With amazing professionals giving us their time and knowledge to help us on our individual roads to recovery. The webinars connect people from all over the world. Tami Ver Helst who works closely with Dr Rob is an amazing contact through the website. I have asked her for referrals in North America and Australia and all have been fantastic. This is an invaluable resource for anyone suffering from sex addiction and their loved ones. Once you find this site you will no longer feel alone. It is a powerful and healing place where everyone is welcome.
Sadly, and unfortunately, this is not a fairy tale, otherwise I would have closed and put down the book a long time ago.
Accepting I have been living with a “Sex Addict” who on any given day, displayed the traits of “Peter Pan”, “Pinocchio” and “Jekyll and Hyde” is no picnic either.
In an endeavour to pull myself from the mire that I was and am still facing daily, I accepted I needed help. As such, I scoured the internet until I came across www.seekingintegrity.com . I was not only impressed, but very grateful to have found resources on one site that provides some sense of sanity and comfort in such a trying time.
In particular, the webinars provide a great opportunity to interact and ask questions anonymously, to receive an honest (sometimes brutally) constructive response, which I could not expect from any of the above characters. The Podcasts are very informative, and easy listening also.
As such, I highly recommend anyone who is struggling with either betrayal or addiction related issues, “Check it out” as “ You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.”
Dr. Rob validates partners in their relationship with an addict, helping partners find the truth of their situation, and to cut through the lies and excuses to find facts an reality. I can believe what Dr. Rob says because, as an addict himself, he has lived the addiction and recovery experience. I also know he feels the pain that partners go through because he displays the empathy we are looking for (but usually can’t get from our addicted spouse). He has done a lot for my emotional well-being, giving me tools to identify red flags when they come up, and to recognize my partner’s sincerity and sorrow. Tami’s point of view is also helpful in identifying the triggers of his addiction and helping me understand that like the whack-a-mole game, he stops one addictive behavior and starts another. Dr. Rob and Tami have also noted that depression and anxiety can manifest along with addictions, and that is truly my partner’s situation. They have helped me understand this. As of now, my partner says that terms like sexual trauma, neglect, and abuse do not resonate with him, but it’s possible that that may change as he gets deeper into his recovery.
I am incredibly grateful to Seeking Integrity. Although I have not yet pushed my husband to attend the intensive (which I have heard nothing but amazing things about from my betrayed spouses group), the level of customer service they have provided me has been amazing. Upon my initial (frantic, desperate) call, Tami referred me to their SexandRelationshipHealing.com website, where I found zoom calls with other betrayed spouses from around the world — based on prodependence, not codependence. Learning I was not part of the problem has been so eye-opening. I learned more in 3 weeks on these calls, the Dr. Rob Weiss webinars, and all the pre-recorded podcasts and webinars than I had learned in the previous 8 months. They also referred me to a local trauma workshop, which is so helpful, and I do not have to fly anywhere. I am so appreciative for all of their kindness and help during the worst time in my life!
Let me begin by saying thank you. I can’t tell you with words how much your content has helped me feel validated and encouraged during this very dark, and often hopeless time in my life. I deeply appreciate all the resources you have thoughtfully curated to provide guidance and support to this community.
Sex, Love, and addiction is my favorite podcast, it’s both my path to heal myself and my path to heal others like me.
I am currently attending Troy Love’s zoom live partner group for the first time. I have listened to his groups/podcasts etc, but this is my first time in this partner session. It is fantastic. His support and guidance is incredible. Having a bit more of a steered facilitator gives it a different vibe, a nice vibe – can’t believe I have missed out on this.
5.10.21