Robert Weiss PhD, LCSW, CSAT
If you’re reading this blog, you probably identify with the idea of repeatedly trying, maybe even promising, but then failing to permanently step away from your sexually compulsive behaviors. Because that is the nature of addiction. As addicts, we are hooked. Sexual compulsivity reels us in, even when we’d prefer it did not. And without help from others, there is not much we can do to break out of this pattern.
Unfortunately, beginning a journey toward recovery from sex and porn addiction can be confusing. We feel like you should just be able to say, “I’m not going to engage in these behaviors anymore,” and that should be enough. But it’s not. In fact, one of the primary criteria used to define addiction (all types) is that the user has tried and failed to quit or cut back, usually multiple times.
So eventually we reach out for help, with or without a nudge from our loved ones, friends, employers, or a nearby judge. And the moment we reach out, the moment we admit to ourselves that we need help because we can’t seem to stop on our own, is the moment we finally have a chance to quit and stay quit.
But where do we start?
There are several ways for addicts to get started in recovery. Typically, we first try to educate ourselves, reading books, listening to podcasts, and attending webinars. Then, if we take the advice given in those venues, we will then reach out for free support, both online and in-person, including 12-step groups and online support groups.
If we find that those efforts are not enough to keep them sober, we will likely find an outpatient therapist who specializes in addiction. (For sex and porn addicts, this should always be a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist.) If we still struggle despite outpatient therapy plus whatever other work we are doing, adjuncts like online or in-person workgroups and intensives may be recommended. Another recommendation might be a few weeks in residential rehab with longer-term aftercare.
Basically, the process of addiction treatment/recovery is similar to the process of treatment for a physical ailment. We start with the least invasive intervention to see if that works. If it does, great. If it doesn’t, we escalate our efforts until something does work.
Some addicts, of course, will skip straight to residential rehab. Usually this is because they are in acute crisis related to their addiction and need the safety and 24/7 treatment intensity of an inpatient setting. Often, their relationship is on the brink, or they’re facing legal or professional consequences, or they have a co-occurring substance issue that complicates the sobriety and recovery process.
Happily, Seeking Integrity either offers or can guide you to all of these options.
- Inpatient Rehab – Seeking Integrity: Los Angeles offers sex, porn, and paired substance/sex addiction treatment for men. Our program is 14, 21, or 28 days depending on client needs. (Most clients stay for 21 or 28 days.) Call us at 747.234.4325 or CLICK HERE to learn more.
- Outpatient Therapy – Outpatient therapy for sex, porn, and paired substance/sex addiction should be undertaken only with a specialist, as other clinicians are unlikely to understand the nuances of these unique issues. For referrals to a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), contact us at THIS LINK. We will happily point you toward qualified help in your area.
- Online Workgroups – Seeking Integrity provides a wide variety of low-cost online workgroups for sex addicts, porn addicts, couples, and even betrayed partners. There are three levels of workgroups for sex addicts and two levels for porn addicts. After completing the basic sex and porn addiction workgroups, many participants move to our workgroups for relationship healing and addressing addiction’s underlying issues.
- 12-Step Meetings – There are multiple 12-Step programs for recovering sex and porn addicts, along with 12-Step groups for alcoholics, drug addicts, and just about any other addictive or compulsive issue you can think of. Our Resources Page lists these groups, along with general information, recommended books, and more.
- com – This is a free resources website for sex, porn, and substance/sex addicts, plus betrayed partners and professionals. The site hosts podcasts, articles, webinars, drop-in discussion groups, daily inspirations, and more.
If you are still unsure about how to start and then move forward in your process of healing, set up a low-cost online consultation with a Seeking Integrity staff member by clicking THIS LINK. To schedule a higher-cost private consultation with me or with Dr. David Fawcett, click THIS LINK.