Delay is the deadliest form of denial.
As sex and porn addicts, we rationalize, minimize, and justify our sexual adventures, blaming everyone and everything but ourselves for our actions and the pickle in which we eventually find ourselves. In recovery, we have a name for this type of reasoning: denial. Denial is a series of internal lies and deceits that we tell ourselves to make our questionable behaviors seem OK (to us, if no one else). Typically, each self-deception is supported by one or more rationalizations, with each rationalization bolstered by still more falsehoods. And so it goes. Without doubt, an impartial observer could easily see through our smokescreen, but we either cannot or will not, choosing instead to ignore the seriousness and potential consequences of our actions so we can comfortably carry on with our sexual acting out. And this willful ignorance can go on for years – usually continuing until our addiction is discovered by others, and sometimes beyond that.
Task for Today
Write a list of ten ways you justified your sexual addiction. Share this list in therapy or a meeting.