Do you stop loving someone just because they betray you? I don’t think so. That’s what makes the betrayal hurt so much.
When asked what extramarital sex looks like, most sex and porn addicts think of sexploration – purely sexual activities lacking any sort of emotional component or connection. Watching porn, hiring prostitutes, webcam masturbation, and various other forms of casual/anonymous sexual activity. Sexploration, so to speak. And we often tell ourselves that because it doesn’t mean anything on an emotional level (to us), it’s not cheating and our significant other really shouldn’t care about it. However, our partners tend to view the situation differently. For them, cheating is more about a loss of relationship trust that any particular sexual activity. So, if we’re being sexual in any way and keeping this a secret from our partner, we’re violating relationship trust – i.e., we’re cheating.
Just for Today
Think of three “reasons” you thought (and maybe still think) your sexually addictive behaviors are OK and won’t bother your significant other. Share these reasons in therapy or a 12-step meeting and ask for feedback.