The universe has shaken you to awaken you.
If you’ve diligently worked the first ten steps and find yourself still at odds with the spiritual nature of recovery, especially in Step Eleven, that’s OK. Instead of fretting, try thinking about Step Eleven as part of an ongoing spiritual practice, and think of practice as a learning process. Thus, you are not expected to work this step perfectly. In fact, most recovering addicts find that the effort of working Step Eleven is usually far more important in terms of lasting positive effects than any other factor. So, however it is that you understand (or don’t understand) your Higher Power, that’s just peachy. You don’t have to be a devout Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, or anything else to work Step Eleven, because Step Eleven isn’t about religion. Instead, it’s about finding your personal spiritual center, whatever that might be.
Just for Today: Think about a Higher Power that works for you, rather than trying to force yourself into someone else’s version of a Higher Power.