Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.
As active addicts, we choose addictive substances and behaviors rather than other people as a coping mechanism because, for us, unresolved childhood trauma has poisoned the well of attachment. Other people can (and often have) hurt us, let us down, and left us feeling abandoned, unloved, or intruded upon. Thus, we fear and don’t feel secure with emotional intimacy, and we refuse to turn to others, even loved ones, for help when we’re struggling or feeling down. Instead, we self-soothe by numbing out with an addictive substance or behavior. For this reason, many clinicians and long-recovering addicts state that the antidote for addiction lies not in willpower or sobriety, but in connection to empathetic, supportive others.
Task for Today
Ask yourself if your addiction friends were true friends or just fellow addicts.