When I’m at the bottom looking up, the main question may not be, “How do I get out of this hole?” In reality, the main question might be, “How do I get rid of the shovel that I used to dig it?”
Sometimes, as recovering sex and porn addicts, we are triggered unexpectedly. Other times, triggers can be seen miles away. For example, attending a social engagement where people will be looking their best and drinking alcohol is an obvious potential trigger for most of us. Knowing this, we can arrange to ‘bookend’ such an event with phone calls to our therapist, our 12-step sponsor, our accountability partner, or any other supportive person in recovery. During the ‘before’ call, we commit to sobriety and we discuss plans to avoid relapse in this particular situation. The ‘after’ call provides an opportunity to discuss what happened, what feelings came up, and what we might need to do differently next time. More importantly, making this before and after commitment to sexual sobriety goes a long way toward preventing slips and relapse.
Task for Today
Look for a potential trigger in your future. Create a plan to bookend that trigger.