With addiction, shame is the master emotion.
Many gay and lesbian sex addicts present in treatment with ego-dystonic (self-loathing) feelings related to their sexual orientation. Sometimes they openly wish that they were not attracted to members of the same sex. In such cases, therapists must let these individuals know that sexual orientation is fixed, and any attempts to change it are pointless. Gay men are sexually and romantically attracted to other men, lesbians are sexually and romantically attracted to other women, bisexuals are sexually and romantically attracted to both genders, and heterosexuals are attracted to the opposite sex. Period. And no amount of aversion therapy, talk therapy, social pressure, or prayer is going to change that. Certainly a person can choose to not act on his or her same-sex attractions, but that doesn’t mean those attractions will go away.
Just for Today
Work on accepting (and maybe even celebrating) your own or another person’s sexual orientation.