Addicts would rather deny a hard truth than face it.
The most common form of sex and porn addiction denial, used by almost every married or partnered addict, centers on the following lie: “What my significant other doesn’t know can’t hurt him/her.” Frankly, it’s amazing how many of us convince ourselves that this blatant lie is true. In reality, even though our partner may have no idea that we’re sleeping around or looking at porn or otherwise acting out, it is almost certain that he or she feels and experiences some degree of emotional and even physical distancing on our part. Sadly, our partner may internalize blame for this, wondering what he or she did to create this rift and to provoke our defensiveness and anger when he or she questioned us about this sense of emotional separation.
Task for Today
List ten ways your addiction has caused pain to a loved one. Share this list in therapy or a 12-step meeting.