It is the highest form of self-respect to admit our errors and make amends for them.
Step Nine says that as part of our recovery we should make direct amends to people we have harmed whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Not surprisingly, Step Nine is among the scariest steps in recovery. The prospect of approaching people we have wronged, admitting what we’ve done, apologizing and making restitution when appropriate, and then living differently in the future is, at best, daunting. However, making amends is rarely difficult. Nearly everyone is receptive to a genuinely sincere effort. Sometimes a person we’ve long held resentments against will use the opportunity to make their own amends to us. Occasionally, a person to whom we are making amends is not receptive. They may distrust our motives, they make be too angry with us to accept our amends, they may even have an emotional or psychological issue that prevents them from accepting our apology and attempts at restitution. So be it. That is their prerogative. We make our amends anyway – because this is our recovery, not theirs.
Just for Today
Think about making amends selfishly – as something you do for yourself and your long-term recovery, rather than for the other person.