Using Sex as a Drug

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All daily inspirations can be found in the book Sex and Porn Addiction Healing and Recovery. Used here with permission of the author.

The goal is not sobriety; the goal is to love yourself so you don’t feel the need to escape through your addiction.

Sex and porn addicts share certain characteristics. One of these common traits is that we use compulsive sexual fantasies and behaviors as a drug. For us, sexual fantasies and behaviors are not about feeling good and having a good time; they’re about feeling less and escaping from our lives. We don’t want to feel lonely, or anxious, or angry, or ashamed, so we distract ourselves with the intensity of sexual thoughts and actions. Unfortunately, the escape is temporary. When we are done acting out in our addiction, whatever it is that we were trying to not feel is still there—often laced with feelings of guilt or shame about the behaviors we just engaged in.

Task for Today
Make a list of five times you used sex or porn as a drug—as a way to not feel. Share this list with your therapist, sponsor, or a friend in recovery.