Working Step Four

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Honest self-reflection opens the mind to reprogramming, change, success, and freedom.

Often, recovering sex addicts dread the thought of step four, of taking a searching and fearless moral inventory of themselves. Because of this, we sometimes try to delay step four indefinitely. Some of us stop working the steps altogether, deciding we can stay sober on meetings alone. Others create excuse after excuse to procrastinate—pretending we’re stuck on steps two and three, choosing to focus on our career or our relationship, switching sponsors because the old one seems too pushy, etc. Either way, not working step four leaves us stuck in a rut of recovery, moving neither forward nor backward. In such cases, we need to understand that step four is the key to both internal growth and lasting sobriety. After all, steps five through nine—the healing steps—all build on the work we do in step four.

Just for Today:
I will not fear self-reflection. Instead, I will see it as a pathway to growth.